Individual Counseling Can Address Pandemic Selfishness And Prevent Divorce

Pandemic stress is increasing selfishness, but individual counseling at Take Charge can help. January has long been known unofficially as “Divorce Month” because so many couples wait until after the holidays to split. The divorce rate is likely to be even higher than usual this year due to COVID-19.

When we are afraid, tense, and worried, we naturally become more self-centered. This is because we are stuck in survival mode, and this perpetual state of stress demands self care. In individual counseling, we stress that you can’t pour from an empty cup, meaning that you can’t care for others if you do not take care of yourself.  It is important to recognize we all have been through a collective trauma which needs to be acknowledged and healed.  

The reality is that we are all selfish, and in many ways that selfishness can be healthy and important. There are degrees of self-care, however, and taken to the extreme, selfishness can be truly destructive. When one is concerned excessively or exclusively with themselves, or has no regard for the needs or feelings of others, their relationships suffer.

Dealing With Selfishness

It can be hard to admit that you are acting more selfish than usual. If you usually consider yourself to be an empathetic and caring person, feeling like you are acting selfish is likely to cause cognitive dissonance. Dissonance occurs when we have conflicting thoughts, especially when those thoughts contradict our internal narratives about ourselves.

Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to get rid of the guilt and still be there for yourself and others. First, we must normalize this reaction. By understanding that this is a normal emotional response to the situation, you’ll be able to remove some of the guilt you feel.

Since everyone responds to crises differently, give yourself grace on your own feelings of selfishness during the pandemic. The act of noticing and acknowledging your uncomfortable feelings can be a powerful step in giving yourself permission to have those feelings.

Next, work on a healthy self-care routine that promotes structure and includes the specific intention of easing personal stress. Get regular sleep, exercise, and proper nutrition. You can also talk about your feelings with a friend, partner, family member, or with a professional in individual counseling.

Individual Counseling, Marital Therapy, And Divorce Coaching

While individual counseling serves to help you cope with your own stress and selfishness, marriage counseling at Take Charge uses Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) to help you talk through issues in your relationship. Terri can guide you to make sense of the confusion and bring perspective to the divorce question. In some cases, Terri can offer ways to heal the relationship through marriage counseling, so divorce does not seem like the only option. Terri also offers divorce coaching to help clients in the divorce process interact and communicate with their spouse more effectively to achieve the best possible outcome.

For more information about individual counseling, marriage counseling, or divorce coaching, call Take Charge, Inc. at (913) 239-8255 or click here to schedule an appointment.