Marriage Counseling Myths
Marriage counseling with Terri Dichiser at Take Charge in Overland Park, KS is more essential than ever to cope with relationship issues that have come up during the coronavirus crisis. Friction from forced proximity, financial stress due to lost wages and health care, and exhaustion from nonstop family time are common stressors of the COVID-19 crisis that can be addressed and often resolved with counseling. If they are not dealt with, these issues are likely to fester and become bigger problems down the road, even after life resumes some semblance of normality.
Many couples resist seeking marriage counseling due to mistaken beliefs and misunderstandings about it. Here we will address a few myths about couples therapy.
Myth 1: Marriage counseling is the last stop before divorce.
A common misconception about marriage counseling is that it is only for couples on the verge of divorce. On the contrary, every couple can benefit from counseling, even if their relationship is solid. The truth is that only about one in five couples who seek therapy are unsure that they want their relationships to continue. Most couples in counseling are working to strengthen their relationship and be the best partners they can be.
Myth 2: One or both partners will be blamed or attacked in therapy.
The goal of counseling is to provide a safe place to talk out issues and strengthen your bond. While it isn’t impossible that one partner could feel blamed or attacked, that is contrary to our purpose, so we certainly try to avoid it. Research suggests that couples who have a stronger connection with their therapist are more likely to experience enhancement in their romantic relationship. Your therapist may not necessarily agree with you all the time, and may ask you and your partner to make changes, but you should feel heard and supported, not verbally assailed or treated like a villain.
Myth 3: We should be able to fix our relationship on our own.
Many couples feel they should be able to handle whatever issues arise in their relationship without outside help. That isn’t really how human relationships work, though. Relationship dynamics are not always clear and evident, especially for the couple themselves, so sometimes what seems to be the problem isn’t the actual problem. A couples therapist, someone with perspective outside the relationship, can help couples see their relationship from a different view and interact in a new way.
Myth 4: Marriage counseling won’t work and is a waste of time.
Sometimes partners struggle to imagine how their relationship could change because they haven’t discovered what works, not because their marriage is irreparable. Terri utilizes Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), which is well backed with scientific research. EFT helps you and your spouse recognize that destructive patterns and behaviors are the enemy in the marriage, not each other.
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