Generally, summer is the time of relaxation and vacations; however, couples going through divorce or post-divorce may find themselves in divorce counseling due to an increase in stress and fighting. Statistically, marriages end in March and August, which means there are a lot of newly divorced or divorcing couples experiencing conflicts over visitation, expenses, vacation schedules, daytime supervision, location of the child’s belongings, and numerous other things common to split families. Divorce counseling may help these couples, and their families, navigate awkward and emotional communications. Before a couple decides their conflicts are “normal” struggles of divorce or that divorce counseling is only for couples with violent fighting they should ask themselves if they want conflict as consistent part of their post-divorce lives.
Your wife/husband did not just wake up one morning and decided to end a happy healthy relationship. Rarely, if ever, does a couple divorce because they got along and were just too compatible and happy. Couples divorce for many reasons; however, agree-ability is hardly ever one of them. Most often the decision to divorce has come after years of poor communication, unresolved issues, and resentment. Although divorce removes the couple from the marriage bond, it does not free the couple from the cycle that caused them to divorce in the first place. In many instances, a rocky marriage becomes a more stressful divorce when a couple must co-parent their children. If a couple fought over finances, parenting styles, family, etc., during their marriage – after the divorce these issues often intensify.
Divorce is considered the second most stressful life event, according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale. Divorce counseling is designed to give a couple the tools they need to cope with awkward communications, without reliving past triggers and pushing each other’s buttons. Terri Clinton Dichiser, Take Charge, Inc., is an experienced psychologist. Her approach to divorce counseling involves helping a divorcing or divorced couple define their post-marriage individuality and create productive interactions. She works with the couple to move past the fights, stress and confines of their previous relationship into a cooperative, healthier next chapter of their lives.
Even if a couple doesn’t have children, divorce is stressful and intense. Most find it difficult to move on after a divorce. Past issues with betrayal, communication, money, trust, fear, and pain may limit one’s desire to “try again” – afraid of making another mistake or being hurt again. If you have mutual friends, running into your ex or hearing a story about them can bring past wounds to the surface. Future partners may say or do something to trigger reactions based on pain from the past. Choosing to engage in divorce counseling when you decide to divorce could decrease your conflicts during your divorce and improve your ability to move on without regrets or unresolved wounds.
Divorce counseling through Take Charge, Inc. can help couples prepare for better communication during the process and after the process, especially if they have children. Families learn how to redefine their definition of family. Mom and Dad receive help in explaining divorce and the new family structure to their children. Overall, divorce counseling is a great choice for those who wish to reduce unnecessary conflicts and improved communications as they move into the next phase of life as an unmarried couple.